First Time Nerves?...

[iteag.livejournal.com]

First time posting on this community, and I'm diving right in at the deep-end and with a challenge. . .

Title : No Refund
Rating : R [for implications of both NCS and violence]
Pairing : Voldemort/Draco, Harry/Draco.
Notes : sbbo's Take Him and Break Him challenge. Around 800 words.
Summery : "There's no refund on life Potter. . ." Dracos' POV. Post-war, Post-Hogwarts. Angst.




My usual beta has been incredibly ill of recent, so you have my apologies of the grammatical errors that are more than likely to occur within the text, if you spot a few things then please point them out so I can fix them. This is not my first attempt at fanfiction, but it is the first time I have posted anything outside of my own journal or FF.Net. Any critical comments will be very much welcomed :)

* * * * *

I hate you Potter. Hate you more than you can ever imagine, the feelings I had before of hate pale in comparison to what I feel for you now. And to think I had once given entertainment the idea that you had saved me. Its no blessing, its a curse. You cursed me, and I can't do anything about it.

Am I a toy for you? Bored? Play with Draco, angry? Break Draco. Thats what you do, isn't it, every time. Every fucking time you fuck me, you break me. You bruise me, take me, and fuck me around. Its take and take and take for you. Always has been hasn't it Potter?

Even your friends, that fucking arrogant Mudblood Granger is worried. I know she's talked to you about this. About what you do to me. Pain, thats what this is. You wont even let me take my own life. It drives me insane, you drive me insane.

You would have thought someone would have halted this before it escalated to the height that it has wouldn't you? But no, who would dare question Dumbledores' Golden Boy? Poor little Harry Potter. Your not the only war orphan, fuck, whole families have been wiped out. Never knew your parents? Aw, shame. A lot of people were left off worse.

But that doesn't account for anything to you, the big martyr the saviour of the Wizarding World. The Boy Who Lived, I understand, has full claim to angst and all its tragedy.

Saved me, didn't you Potter? After all, isn't that what they all say? Took me away from Him.

Odd that, usually the knight slays the dragon.

You do that though. Every night, you know what I wish for? That when my eyes close they'll never have to open again. Or that I'll wake up, this wil all be a bad dream, I'll be back in the Manor, my mother will hold me and tell me that everything is fine, that nothing bad has happened, that nothing bad will ever happen. Sometimes, ever so fleetingly, I wish it was Him again. There was not pretending, not there.

You never even asked how that happened to me, not one word. I was a punishment for my mothers betrayal. Her warning might have saved the lives of many, but it destroyed mine.

But for you, for you I am the bad dragon that burned down those metaphorical villages. And you the knight in shining armor, racing to save the world in triumph from the horrible crimes committed by the evil Wizards and witches.

So I play my part, the loving boyfriend. No one really notices the whites of your knuckles when you grip my hand just a touch to hard, or perhaps they do, and like the fools they are hide behind the fact that you, The Boy Who Lived, The Man Who Saved, couldn't ever be capable of committing such atrocities.

But you are aren't you Potter? More than capable. You tasted blood, you felt the thrill of murder and you liked it.

I'm the one link you have to that, I'm the bad dragon you've got to destroy. After all, what else can you do but defeat 'evil'. Its a sick game, Potter, a sick and twisted game. Haven't you seen my skin? The only marks here are the ones you gave me. He might have been wicked and evil, but for Him, I was never damaged. Nothing would mark me. You've given me your own Dark Marks.

Define evil, Potter, if you can. Show me, in your black and white world, which one of us is in the wrong. You are the one who has committed these things, these assaults on both my body and my mind. Yet, for you - for all of them - there is no need to look at that. Malfoy. It answers all the questions doesn't it?

'What happened to him?' 'Oh, Malfoy, probably deserved it. Git'

You lie here next to me, sound asleep, and all it would take would be for me to lift this pillow and smother you with it. You made sure I was incapable of doing that, though, didn't you? I wish for you to sit up and cast a counter-spell to end this one. More than that, I wish that you would just point your wand at me and whisper those two words even sweeter, Avada Kedavra. And that green light, more colourful than your eyes would sweep over me and take me to a sweeter place than you ever had. To Oblivion.

Merlin Potter, why didn't you just kill me when you had the chance? Even Azkaban would be better than this. And I've been around Dementors.

I look forward to death, to the people I'll see again.

You've taken everything, smashed every iota of hope I might have had left.

You fucking broke me Potter. You won this game. There's no refund on life Potter, but if there was, I'd be demanding it.

* * * * *

Ta da?

Comments

[sbbo.livejournal.com]

Woot! Woot!

Grand, marvelous start, darling.

I loved it. It was dark, and ooo, "You've given me your own Dark Marks."

I am so glad we got such a lovely challenge to begin it all.

*applause*

[delaria.livejournal.com]

Well done. The emotion is heartbreaking. You sucked me in and I couldn't stop reading. I was highly disappointed when I came to the end, and yet satisfied. The end was perfect, but I wanted to keep reading, to know more. Again, well done.

Thank You!

[iteag.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

It was terribly hard to write something non-fluffy and non R/D or B/D

^_^ It was certainly a new experience.

Re: *applause*

[iteag.livejournal.com]

"The end was perfect, but I wanted to keep reading, to know more"

What every writer likes to hear *purrs*

Thank you ever so much for the kind review, and I'm glad the emotion was so affective.

Re: *applause*

[delaria.livejournal.com]

Yes. My beta, SBBO, is fond of bullying me to know more after the fact. I say end, she says but what happens, and bribes me.

Re: *applause*

[iteag.livejournal.com]

*snicker* Mine says "Okay, its good but wtf are you on about here, there and at this part?"

And she just holds my books ransom to get me to do better :)

Re: *applause*

[delaria.livejournal.com]

I'm more inclined to hold things ransom for her to hurry up. I like fixing things, but she and I fight the whole time, I think sometimes. Over every space between words, not just the words. Aren't betas wonderful?