Well, it's a shameless self-rec, but it fits what you want perfectly, so... ;)

http://kc404duh.livejournal.com/6719.html

Summary: Crack, only in that Draco is a total queen. He and Harry get into a fight and Harry accuses him of bleaching his hair. A fight and smut ensue, including Gryffindor-themed skirts and socks.

There's a lot of dirty talk, dom!Harry, sub!draco. That stuff. Enjoy. :)