bottom_draco

Title Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely

Rating G

Pairing Harry/Draco

Category Songfic? Very angsty.

Disclaimer None of this is mine. The characters are J.K Rowling’s. The song is BSB’s.

Notes Please comment. I would love to here your criticisms, good or bad. I greatly appreciate your time. Lord knows none of us has any time anymore.

Show me the Meaning of Being Lonely

Show me the meaning of being lonely

I never realized until this, my sixth year, that I have never had anybody to love. Well, that is expected since, although many girls throw themselves at my feet, I am not interested in them. Another, slightly more important reason is that the very boy (a man now I guess) whom I desire most is one who is out of reach. At the thought of my loneliness, I am overtaken by grief. To look at you hurts anymore.

So many words for the broken heart

I guess it is untrue to say that I have never had anybody since I did have a month-long fling with some seventh year in my house. I don’t count this because the entire reason for dating him was to try and fill a void. Also, to rid me of my feelings for you, the man of my dreams. Too bad that didn’t work, as I did think of my true love the entire time. Never did I think that this fling of mine with a seventh year who should have considered himself lucky to be I my good graces (not to mention my bed) would dump me. That day broke my heart. No, not the breaking up as much as the thought that if I wasn’t deemed worthy for this stupid seventh year, I would surely never be worth my sixth year rival; this man who I had kept a lasting relationship of hate in an attempt to squash my true feelings.

It’s hard to see in a crimson love

Crimson. Yes, mixed with gold to form your house colors. How I hate these colors! These colors which form a barrier between us. These colors give me no hope of ever having you. These colors remind me of the love which will never be mine, a fleeting chance of the man whose arms will never encircle me with warmth and compassion.

So hard to breathe. Walk with me and maybe

When I am away from you, I feel like I can’t breathe. When you are gone, my life seems desperately hopeless. But, when I am near you, my breath is restored. I can sense the shreds of my sanity come back together slightly. But, every time I leave you, I am torn more. Harder to repair. If I could only spend an eternity, the maybe…

Nights of life so soon become wild and free, I can feel the sun

I drown out the sounds of my misery which is constantly reminding me of that I can’t have. I try to rid this loud whisper with nights of sex, parties, and drugs. But every morning when I wake up, the whisper increases I volume. It is a constant reminder. It never leaves, mocking me the way I mock you, though when I mock you it isn’t real to me. My subconscious, however, never toys with me. It always taunts me, and its taunting is real.

Your every wish will be done

I would do anything for you. Anything, but nothing would appeal to you if it came form me. I wish you could know that I would sacrifice everything just for a moment to be I your loving embrace; the embrace which has never been bestowed upon anyone. I elude myself to think that you are saving it for me.

Show me the meaning of being lonely. Is this the feeling I need to walk with

You let me know that you have no interest in me. Maybe not consciously but you are always reminding me that I will never have a chance. Have you ever thought of whom it is that you will give your heart to? Maybe…No, I am afraid that I will never have you. You would never pick me. I should just give up and accept that I will never have anyone. I will only be content with you, and that feeling is not mutual.

Tell me why I can’t be there where you are. There’s something missing in my heart

Why? Why, why why? I can’t live like this. Won’t you accept me and love me in return? Of course not, because I have never told you. I never will. I know that you would just turn me away. Oh, and then you would pity me. You always do pity everybody that you think you gave cause for grievance. What then? Come back and wrap your arms around me out of pity? Oh, how I would be in Heaven, only to be ripped from the clouds when I discover that you never meant anything by it. There will always be a hole in my heart, steadily growing until it consumes me, bring others down too. If you knew what you were capable of…