Fest Fic: Dietrich's Tale - James/Draco (Part 2)

[bottomdraco-mod.livejournal.com]

When he woke up again Lady Malfoy was sitting at his bedside, her eyes sad and her pose one of utter shame.

“How are you feeling?” she asked softly, her hands gently posed over her lap. Dietrich sat up with difficulty, only to realize he had been strapped into his bed.

“Mistress,” he gasped weakly. “Master Draco! Is he ok?”

Lady Malfoy shook her head.

“He will enter trial in a week,” she said, placing one of her small hands on his wrist. “The Healers are optimistic on your case. They believe your memories will be restored soon.”

Dietrich shook his head, unable to believe her words. Who could possibly care about his memories now? He had lived a perfectly comfortable life without them. He didn’t need to know what past he had left behind. His only concern laid with Young Master Draco, who was most probably so scared, so alone, locked for crimes that were not his own.

Lady Malfoy looked at him tenderly.

“They have not told you a thing, have they, Mr. Potter?” she asked. “I cannot express deeper regret for our actions than this, sir. Because we deprived you of a life you might have lived, and yet I selfishly thanked the goddess time and time again for your presence in our lives, in Draco’s life.”

“Master Malfoy said the same thing,” he said slowly, eyeing her warily. “You should be with your son.”

She smiled a bitter smile.

“She begged for me to stay by your side, to make sure you are ok,” she told him, and Dietrich felt his heart constrict with tenderness. Even while facing such danger, while doubting for his own survival, Master Draco is only looking out for his loyal servant.

He felt unworthy of such adoration.

“I need to know he is going to be fine,” he said. “You and I both know he never intended to enter the Dark Lord’s service.”

She nodded.

“You must know what lays before you now, Mr. Potter,” she whispered softly, gently. And suddenly she started a tale so unbelievable and horrible that he cannot breath. She told him about his brilliant career as an Auror, about his beloved wife and the hope the whole wizardy world had for them. Of their loyal friends and the child they were expecting. She told him of the attack and how the Dark Lord had chased after them in anger and fear. How they had been found and supposedly murdered.

How Lucius Malfoy came home one night with him as a guest, how a traitor masking himself as a friend had robbed him of those memories, of the life he had deserved.

The happiness.

“You must understand, Lucius was afraid, had the Aurors known you were with us his involvement would have been out for them to pick up, and there you were, laying so still for years. We thought we needed to care for you, if only to protect ourselves, to protect Draconis,” she said, shaking her head. “Our son was so precious to us.”

The story felt so unreal to him, so terrible. He finally understood why Harry Potter’s eyes made him uncomfortable, why the sole mention of his name made him ache. Harry Potter was his son, the son he had sworn to protect. The one who had his wife’s eyes set on an exact copy of his own face.

“Did Master Draco know?” he asked, feeling tired.

She paused, her eyes lowering in shame and regret that was painful to watch. He had never seen Mistress Malfoy so defeated, so scared and spent.

“No,” she said finally. “We never had the heart to tell him who you were, especially after his rivalry with Harry Potter started. We feared he might let our secret out because of his naivety.”

Dietrich understood, a weight suddenly lifted from his chest.

His Master Draco was innocent.

Mistress Malfoy left then, promising to come back soon.

The honey-eyed man, his friend Remus, appeared often. Told him about their lives, their childhood memories. About Harry and what a wonderful son he had, such a sweet boy, so alike himself.

He felt nothing.

Harry Potter himself approached him with caution, feeling insecure and hurt and maybe a little betrayed.

Dietrich stared at him in between awe and disdain. He needed to let go of his old jealousy. Of the fact that this boy had sullied the lips he had wanted for himself since day one without maybe realizing it.

Harry was his son nonetheless, he didn’t deserve his scorn for such petty reasons.

Healers came and went. Potions were trusted down his throat, spells fired at his head. Tests ran and failed. Hope rose and then disappeared.

Harry held his hand all the time and Die… James, tried to forget the phantom feeling of Master Draco’s hands in his. Smaller than Harry’s, softer, weaker. He needed to focus on the life he had lost and yet could get back. He needed to cling to that second chance he was given.

One day, Harry came into his room wearing a formal robe, his hands shaking.

James tried to sooth him the best he could, but Harry was different from Master Draco, and he found himself clueless.

“I need to ask you something,” he said in a whisper, his eyes set on his father’s. “Were you ever mistreated while living on Malfoy Manor?”

James didn’t know how to answer, he didn’t understand.

“Please,” Harry begged.

James shook his head.

Harry finally sank into the chair by his bedside, his eyes full of melancholy. James saw the tired edge they held, the way his hands tried to twist the fabric of his robes into an unrecognizable shape, the way his mouth curled with nervousness.

He suddenly thought Lilly must have looked like that when stressed, and was surprised he could not feel any fondness at the idea.

“I spoke on Malfoy’s behalf during his trial,” Harry sighed, not daring to lift his eyes from his knees. “I want to believe I did it because they took care of you… because Malfoy is important to you.”

James remained silent, his own eyes searching for something he couldn’t name on his son’s face, on his body.

He found nothing.

“They were never cruel to me,” he said finally. “Lady Malfoy made sure I was content, Lord Malfoy researched my condition to the best of his ability. They entrusted their son, their precious son to my care.”

Harry nodded.

“Draco adores you,” he whispered. “He was looking for you among the crowd during the trial. I can tell he was.”

James felt a swell of something warm on his chest, a small smile curling his lips.

“You can be honest with me, Harry,” James said gently, wondering whether it would be improper for him to take hold of his son’s hand. He wasn’t sure the boy would appreciate the contact.

“I don’t think you’d like to hear it,” Harry replied. “It would hurt us both.”

“Try me.”

Harry let out a long, suffering sigh, his eyes finally locking with James’.

“I want to believe I did it all for you, that I’m sparing them prison because you would be upset,” he said, hands trembling over his knees.

“But it’s not the case,” James completed for him, feeling a little sparkle of something he couldn’t name when his son nodded his head miserably.

“He always made sure I knew he thought nothing special of me,” he said. “That he didn’t care I was the Boy-who-lived, and in a twisted sort of way, I loved it. He never cared for my fame of my name. Whatever he felt for me, it was because of myself.”

“It must have been hard for you, growing up with such expectations.”

“It was,” Harry admitted. “I didn’t even realize when he became something I looked out for. When I missed his sneers or his pranks, when I became upset if he didn’t talk to me for a week.”

“You loved the sense of normalcy he gave you,” James smiled. His master Draco was such a wonder.

“I kissed him, you know?” Harry ventured. James nodded.

“He told me,” he admitted. “He was upset.”

“I could tell he was,” Harry said. “I tried to feel good about it too, that I had managed to shock him so. Yet, I felt awful, I never wanted to see him so sad. I never meant to make him cry.”

James suddenly understood something about the boy sitting before him, something no one else would be able to see. Harry Potter had only wanted to be his own person. Not James Potter’s son, nor Lilly Potter’s legacy. He had wanted to be Harry all his life and Voldemort had robbed him of that chance. And there was Master Draco who detested him for being Harry, who made it his life-duty to remind him he was nothing special.

Just like Harry had always wanted.

He could tell why his son had easily fallen for him, for the security Draco Malfoy provided. Could Harry see it too, he wondered.

“Today I realized something, though,” Harry continued. “He was sitting there, looking for something, and then his eyes landed on me and the nervousness seemed to lift from his body, like an enormous weight had been lifted from his body… and then he saw my eyes and the sparkle died on him.”

Harry’s lips twisted into a broken smile.

“I realized he was not looking for me, he was looking for you, he wanted you to be there with him,” he laughed humorlessly. “And I hated you for a moment. Because you took that part of him from me. I would never be just Harry to him again. It would be like when Sirius was drunk and he looked at me, or like when Remus wanted to say something special and all he could see was you and mum in me. I was no longer Harry, I became your son who happens to look like you.”

James bit his lips, listening to his heart and putting a comforting hand on top of Harry’s trembling one. Harry didn’t pull away, but he didn’t acknowledge the gesture either.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever see you as my father,” he admitted. “When I was a kid, I used to dream you would come for me, that you would save me and everything would be all right, but now that it happened I… you seem like a stranger to me. It’s not like it was with Sirius or how I thought it would be.”

Those green eyes, Lilly’s eyes fixed on his, full of remorse and despair.

“I don’t know if I can love you like my father,” he whispered. “And I don’t know if I can forgive you for taking Draco from me.”
James sighed.

“You don’t have to be guilty,” he answered, feeling emboldened by his son’s bravery. It must have taken a lot from him to finally admit what the two of them had been trying to hide. “My life, the life I lived all those years ago, is an enormous void inside of my head. I’m getting my memories back, yes, but it will take years, and even then you were a baby when I lost you. Now you are a man. Maybe we will never be like your friend Ron and his father.”

Harry looked as relieved as he looked heartbroken, James sighed.

“I’d be honored if you consider me into your life as you father, but I can’t force you or myself to rush those feelings,” he continued. “We can get to know each other, we can build something with time. I wish I could promise you more, but I can’t.”

Harry nodded.

“What about Draco?” he asked, feeling foolish and so small when his father’s face became cold.

“I don’t think I can say a thing about Master Draco that would make you happy,” he stated, his own hands clenching over Harry’s.

The boy sighed, his eyes going upwards.

“I asked the healers whether you and I could take a walk, go back to Godric’s Hollow,” he said. “Get dressed, huh?”

James stared at his son in confusion before he recognized the mischievous glint in his eyes. He saw that same glint on the mirror every day, and he finally felt a connection with him.

In seconds they were apparating outside of Saint Mungo’s and into the Ministry of Magic.

Harry said nothing to the guard who opened the door for him, nor did he look at the other recluses who screamed at them when they passed the cells. Death Eaters, all of them.

James’ heart was pounding in his chest as they neared the solitary cell in the end of the corridor, further away from the dangerous criminals and closer to the younger prisoners. Miss Parkinson was standing close to the bars in her cell, her eyes bloodshot. She saw James and gapped at him with her hands raised, James tried to pretend he didn’t hear her babbling recognition.

They stopped by Young Master Nott’s cell.

“The last one by the window,” Harry said, running a tired hand over his hair. “I’ll wait here.”

James nodded.

“Thank you,” he said, rushing towards the appointed cell. Idly, he heard young Master Nott whispering “you did the right thing” to Harry, and chose to ignore the pang on his chest.

Young Master Draco, his Draco, was sitting by his cell’s window, his back straight and his pose regal. Just as he was taught by Lord Malfoy to sit. His hair was cut regulatory short and his thin frame seemed even smaller in his dirty prison robes. James felt himself sag in the relief he hadn’t realized he needed. He clutched the bars in front of him in order to prevent himself from falling to his knees. The void, the emptiness, disappeared.

“Master Draco…” he whispered reverently, feeling so happy when his young master turned abruptly, his sweet eyes wide and shocked. Instantly he’s out of his seat and clutching his hands desperately, staring frantically at him as if trying to make sure he is uninjured.
“Die,” he whimpered, eyes tearing out. “Are you ok?”

“I am,” he answered, his fingers running gently over his young Master’s hands. “The Healers are taking care of me now… they are optimistic.”

Master Draco smiles lightly, his whole body relaxing.

“Thank the goddess, I was worried about you,” he said. “I’m glad you found your past, and your family. I think you can be happy from now on.”
James nodded, tightening his hold on Master Draco’s hands.

“You protected me all this time,” he whispered.

“So did you…” replied Draco. “You’ve been such an important part of my life. You’ve always been there for me. You taught me things my parents wouldn’t even think about. I think my life would have gone so wrong without you there… I guess I just wanted to return the favor.”
“I was happy with you, Young Master,” James frowned. “You gave meaning to my life. Without you the void would have consumed me. I…”
Draco flushed softly, his unnaturally pale cheeks turning that beautiful shade of crimson that James adored. He should be unnerved by the obsession he had over his young charge. The Healers had told him, yes, that he should see Young Master Draco as the son he had raised, as the replacement for Harry he had lived with.

He saw something different, however.

“Young Master,” he whispered, stroking the young man’s cheek with his hand. How he had missed his warmth, the silky feeling of his skin.
“I guess I have to stop calling you Dietrich, huh?” Draco mussed. “Not that I’ll get to see you all that often. But you’ve gotten your name back, I guess I have to use it, Mr. Potter.”

The words.

Master Draco had the power to fill him with distress or to release him from the void with words alone. This time, it was no different.
“I will always be your Dietrich,” he said urgently, eyes locking with his young charge’s.

“Dietrich…” he said.

James, Dietrich, his name didn’t matter anymore. All that mattered was that he was finally whole, and that the person he had dedicated his life to was staring sadly at him, as if this was their goodbye. As if he believed he would leave him for good.

He would not.

Gently, he tilted Draco’s face and reached out through the bars to kiss those tantalizing lips he had fantasized about for years. Draco’s eyes were wide, his breathing cut short. Harry stared at them from afar, his whole pose one of defeat.

James couldn’t care less.

Slowly, Young Master Draco’s eyes started to close, his lips relaxed under James’ and his small hands came to cup his own. James had dreamed about kissing his Draco, he had thought it would be under the boy’s favorite tree in the Manor, right after he had graduated from Hogwarts and his job as guardian had been completed.

The reality, of course, varied quite a lot from his fantasy.

It was heaven nonetheless.

He mapped every inch of those lips with his tongue, committing their shape, their feel, their taste, to his memory. Holding as much as he could without being forceful or violent. Master Draco was his everything, he would not break him.

“I wished for you to do that for so long…” Draco whispered once they parted, his eyes were so clear now, so tearful, and his breathing came in gentle gasps, that James had no heart to let his face go.

“Young Master only had to ask,” James said softly, truthfully. Draco shook his head.

“It wouldn’t have been fair,” he answered. “You had no memory, and Potter needed you, if only to let go of your ghost and start living for himself.”

James frowned.

“You knew who I was,” he said. “Lady Malfoy said you didn’t.”

“It didn’t take me all that long to figure it out once I met Harry,” Draco explained gently, his fingers playing with James’ hair. “At first I thought I could just rub it in his face, tell him his beloved father didn’t care about him. But I just couldn’t.”

“You kept my secret,” James whispered.

“Until Voldemort was not a threat anymore,” Draco admitted. “I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you.”

James had to laugh at that. His own sinful devotion, the way he had cried and screamed and raved. How he had tortured himself day and night thinking he had sullied his Young Master even in his mind, and yet, here he was, the object of his heart’s desire, smiling at him, caressing his face and kissing his fingers.

What had he done to deserve so much happiness?

“Come with me,” he said suddenly, anxiously. Afraid that if he let go of his beloved Young Master’s hands, the boy would disappear in his dreams as he usually did.

“I can’t,” Draco said. “You saw what I did…”

“You were forced into that filth!” James roared. “I can’t let you stay in here.”

Draco shook his head once more, eyes falling downwards.

“Silly, Die,” he said.

“I will get you out of here,” James promised, his eyes flashing with determination. “I swear I will, even if I have to destroy the Ministry itself, even if I have to kill every opposition I will set you free, Young Master Draco.”

A tear slid down Draco’s cheek.

“I love you, my Dietrich,” he said, covering his mouth with one hand. “I needed you to know that.”

“And I love you, my Young Master,” he replied, whipping the tear away. “Please wait for me, I will come back.”

“I wish I could…”

“Don’t!” James interrupted. “You’ve always believed in me, Young Master Draco, you know I always keep my promises. I will be back.”
Draco looked at him, a sudden sparkle returning to his tired eyes.

“I will wait then,” he said. “All the time it takes, I will wait for your return. But only if you promise me you won’t endanger yourself.”

“Master Draco!” James protested.

“Please.”

“Don’t worry about it, Malfoy,” Harry said, walking to them. “I’ll make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.”

Draco nodded then, a small smile on his face.

“Thank you, Potter,” he whispered. “I’m sorry… for everything.”

Harry hesitated, a hand on his father’s arm.

“So am I… maybe… we can be friends?” Draco nodded.

“I’d like that.”

James shook his head, cupping his Young Master’s cheeks once more and giving him a last, deep kiss. It was petty and childish of him, he knew, but he had to make Harry understand that family or not, there were some things that he was not willing to give up for him.

Harry rolled his eyes.

“I’ll be back,” he whispered, smiling. Draco smiled back.

“I’ll be waiting.”

Without another word – he wasn’t sure he could say another word without breaking down and just kidnapping his Draco, not a good idea if he wanted to prove to the whole wizardy world he was recuperating – he turned around and started running towards the Main Hall. He had mayhem to cause and a Minister to talk to.

Harry shook his head and dashed after him. Hermione would later compare the impulsive father and son and make them both scowl.

Draco sat down by his window once more, his smile still on his face. Hope was blossoming on his chest and fluttering like the wings of a butterfly in his ribcage. Maybe it had taken them all these years to find each other, through blood and tears and so many unsaid words.

But even locked down, awaiting his sentence, sleeping through the screams of his once peers, he felt complete at last.

“Thank you, Dietrich,” he said to the empty air.

And waited.

THE END.

Comments

[serilla.livejournal.com]

Wow! James/Draco are such a rare pair - there aren't that many stories out there with them as a couple (well there could be a lot more some where but I haven't been able to find them....).
Great story - love it. The whole concept of James losing his memory and becoming a protector of Draco and then both of them falling in love is fantastic. Well done. :)

[christina026.livejournal.com]

OMG this is awesome! I love this fic! Good job!!

[siniestramalfoy.livejournal.com]

This was so beautiful!
Loved the way James felt for Draco, how much he cared about him, and at the same time I felt so sad for Harry, knowing that he lost Draco to his father, that he couldn't have what he wanted.

This fic was simply amazing, because the emotions were so real, because It can make me think that could have happened.

wonderful work, anon!

[kogu17.livejournal.com]

I love it!!!!
It was an amazing story, great interaction between the characters!!!
Astonishing work, congrats =D

[ran26.livejournal.com]

OMG.... This is amazing... James/Draco are rare pair but what can i tell... you handle it well... Love it.. :)

[eternallydazed.livejournal.com]

Wow, I never knew James/Draco could work but I really loved it. Though, I'm not really sure about the fact that James is old enough to be Draco's father didn't seem to be a problem in the story, but eh. Having Harry in love with Draco was a bonus for me, I enjoyed the rivalry between him and his father.

[anisaex.livejournal.com]

It is so unexpected, but nice story indeed anyhow. :D

[emeraldpanther.livejournal.com]

OMG!!!!!!! Wait. Before I get all excited and start babbling, I just have to say I'm Nukitsu. I know I'm not logged in as Nukitsu but I made a new account. Anyways....THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! At first, I thought you might have misunderstood the prompt since I didn't say whether it was James Sr. or James Jr, and although I wouldn't have minded a story with James Jr/Draco, I really wanted James Sr. I didn't have a specific story line in mind when I posted that prompt but the quote I picked seemed extremely fitting and beautiful that I hoped somebody would write it. And I'm glad YOU did it!!!! This was a fantastic story!! I especially like the twist(s) in the story (being the protector, obsession, rivalry with his own son = sqeual!!!). I would have never considered memory lost and living in Malfoy Manor and being Draco's protector (I was thinking of time travel-how unoriginal huh? Lol!). Absolutely wonderful story. THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

[dadomz.livejournal.com]

I didn't think such pairing would be possible until this. Very intriguing and beautiful, thank you.

I can't help but say though that I feel extremely sad for Harry .

[citrus-lime.livejournal.com]

I keep telling myself over and over and over again that I can't read a story with a pairing other than Harry/Draco, yet I was intrigued and clicked the link, expecting to be disappointed with the story. But instead of being disappointed, I got my heart broken along with Harry's, and the way you write this story is just.. Perfect. I have to be honest that I keep chanting 'Harry is Draco's Harry is Draco's Harry is Draco's' after I read this story, just to soothe the wee!Harry inside me, you know. (lol yeah, I'm a little strange.) this story is a very beautiful story, great job, mystery author!

[aquila-star.livejournal.com]

The unrequited H/D really added an extra angsty kick. :D I quite enjoyed this fic, and while it ended very well, I can't help but want to know more! Lovely job.

One small thing, though...it's spelled 'Lily' not 'Lilly'. That is a pet peeve of mine, tbh, and it threw me right out of the fic at that point...it took away some impact. And you don't want that, cause I love how you brought it all together. :D

[mayfly-78.livejournal.com]

A brilliant story and a very original plot! Draco was so sweet and adorable, and James was a marvelous creation. The way you manage to create a new him, but yet keep the parts that made him James intact, plus the gripping way you convey his emotions, are all amazing! And the the little unrequited H/D you give is is just the cherry on top!

But most of all the plot, I loved the plot! Beautifully done!

[monster-o-love.livejournal.com]

This is Amazing!!!! What a unique and beautiful story! I love the way James/Dietrich, Lucius and Narcissa are all portrayed here. And Draco is the shining light their lives all revolve around. Such an interesting dynamic between James and Harry, I'm so glad that Dietrich didn't get his heart ripped out of him again. Such a touching and romantic scene at the prison! Awwwww!!! *snuffles* Really fantastic story, I so enjoyed reading this! <3

[ayurubie.livejournal.com]

this is a fascinating take on HD, I love he conversation between James and Harry. I'm glad that I had read this anon. author <3

[haven-hell.livejournal.com]

Oh wow, never thought James/Draco could be this good <3