[identity profile] arrogant-prat.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] bottom_draco
[Title] Christmas Cuppa
[Pairing] Harry/Draco
[Rating] NC-17
[Disclaimer] Property of JK Rowling, situations original, way, way original.
[Word Count] 1,595
[Author] [livejournal.com profile] charlotteschaos
[Beta] [livejournal.com profile] petalla
[Summary] Harry presents Draco with an unexpected Christmas gift
[Notes] Responds to both Christmas challenges on [livejournal.com profile] thelemontree and [livejournal.com profile] hp_squick This is either cheating, or I am really efficient. I haven't decided that.
[Warnings] Squick; rimming; enema; strange ingestions.


"How is this a Christmas gift?"

"Well, that's not all there is to it!"

"It had better not be all there is," Draco warned irritably as he examined the strange plastic bottle with the weird straw.

"It's not. Now hand it to me."

"It's not just that it's... whatever this is..."

"It's coffee, Draco."

"Coffee?" he asked as he felt the sides of it and swirled it a bit. "Coffee? But it's... cold. And I don't even drink coffee, Harry. Let alone in... what the fuck is this?" he questioned as he flicked the bent plastic protrusion, causing it to weakly rotate.



"It's room temperature, yes. But it's not for you to drink. Give it back," Harry said, holding his hand out impudently.

Draco huffed and his mouth gaped in incredulity. "Let me get this straight, Harry because I don't want to miss a syllable of this. For Christmas you bought me a cup of cold coffee, which I don't drink, but I'm not to drink anyways. Served it in a container I wouldn't use... and now you're asking to have it back? And this, I reiterate, is my Christmas present."

"Yes. Give it back."

"Who's going to drink it then?"

"I am."

Nostrils flaring in absolute exasperation, Draco shoved it back into Harry's hand. "Fine."

"Thank you, Draco. Now, take off your clothes."

"So you want me naked while you drink my tepid Christmas coffee through a straw."

In his mirth, Harry had to press his lips together to keep from dissolving into giggles. Draco really had no clue. "I'm not drinking it out of this container. Now take off your clothes."

"Harry, look. I realize that your childhood being what it was you might not understand the concept of Christmas and giving. But I can assure you--

"Shut up and take off your clothes or we'll be well into the New Year before you strip in my presence again!" Harry snapped. This was an idle threat, but one that clearly Draco believed. For a moment the Slytherin simply sneered at Harry as if trying to measure out how seriously he should take this threat. Judging Harry's impassive face to be serious, Draco tetchily disrobed.

"Good boy, Draco. Now bend over the desk."

"Bend over the desk?" he asked as he contemptuously peered around the conveniently vacant classroom. "My Christmas present is you fucking me while drinking my cold Christmas coffee? Look, I realize I must be hard to shop for, but it hurts my feelings that you didn't try at all, Harry."

Harry didn't argue. He just stood there, holding the plastic bottle with a stern look on his face that continued to say his threat of no sex still applied. Draco dropped his head back and made a quick appeal to the gods that went predictably unanswered. Without divine intervention to guide him, the naked Slytherin did the only thing he could do; he turned around and bent over the desk.

"Thank you," Harry said pleasantly as he stepped up behind Draco and then knelt down to his knees. The Gryffindor was prepared for resistance, but he'd wanted this to be a surprise. He was pretty sure that if he'd told Draco what he'd intended that he'd never even get this far.

Setting the bottle down, Harry affectionately nuzzled his face against Draco's cheeks. That, at least, was better as far as Draco was concerned. As he felt the cleft of his ass parted, he relaxed his torso down against the desk. Harry had never done this before, although it wasn't Draco's first time to receive this treatment. He reasoned that since he hadn't heard Harry's zipper come down, and since he was, in fact, kneeling behind him, that he was to be the recipient of a rim job. The flaxen-haired boy wasn't sure what the purpose of the coffee was. Perhaps Potter wasn't sure if he could keep awake?

All concerns about the tepid drink in the plastic bottle drifted away as Harry's languid tongue laved over Draco's wanton hole. Crossing his arms in front of him, Draco rested his forehead against his hands, groaning and whimpering at the sleek tongue that tasted the rim of his sphincter. "Mmm... Merlin, Harry, that's nice." That was more like it. Way more like it.

Abruptly, the tender tongue trailed off its taunting and Draco opened his eyes and stared at the black grain of the desk beneath him wonder where Harry went. There was still no zipper sound; maybe he was having some coffee? "Harry?"

Draco brows furrowed in confusion as he felt something non-organic being pushed inside of him. Harry had never been known to use toys before, but perhaps the true present was some manner of anal plug? Beads? Magic, vibrating- good lord what was that?

Eyes widening before he flipped his head up and then whirled to look back at Harry, Draco had no idea why he was suddenly feeling so uncomfortably... full. Something tepid and wet and-"YOU'RE PUMPING COFFEE INTO MY MY... MY... MY?!?" he screeched unable to vocalize where coffee was going.

"Don't make me silence you with my wand."

"I think you're going to HAVE to silence me with your wand if you don't explain RIGHT NOW what is going on!" Draco squalled.

With a patient insistence, Harry carried on squeezing the plastic container, pushing the hand-made organic coffee into the bewildered blonde's beleaguered orifice. "It's called a coffee enema, Draco."

"Enema?"

"Well, Muggles do it, mostly. It cleans you out on the inside. You put the fluid in and give it some time to clean you and then you let it back out. A coffee enema is supposed to be detoxifying. It will help your liver."

The internal pressure was mounting and one of the Slytherin's hands snaked down to massage his sore abdomen in an attempt to relieve the discomfort. His silver eyes glared furiously at Harry. "What? Muggle practice? Liver? I DON'T NEED TO BE DETOXIFIED! THIS FUCKING HURTS!"

Harry glared back at him and repeated two key words to Draco, "New Year."

Slamming his fist against the desk angrily, he narrowed his eyes but was left with only one thing to say, "Pfft." And with that out of the way, he whisked back around and pressed his flushed cheek against the cool of the table.

Harry was finished with the plastic enema bottle so he tenderly pulled it out of Draco and cast it carelessly aside. "Now normally you'd have to wait ten to twenty minutes-"

"Twenty minutes?" Draco cried out in a shrill tone.

"As I was saying, normally you'd have to wait that long, but I'll still need you to hold onto it."

"Hold-"

"New Years, Draco."

"Holding," Draco whined against the desk. Then there it was again. His cheeks pulled apart and that delicate tongue taunting his opening. Didn't Harry know how hard it was to "hold it" when he was doing that? Malfoy had long since given in on being bottom, but he'd never known Harry to be a sadist. "Harry..."

Harry slipped his tongue into Draco's thickly puckered opening. His lips formed as much of a seal around it as he could manage and then he began to swallow. One hand moved around the astonished giftee and encircled his responding length. Draco had no idea how in the world Harry expected him to "hold on" while he was doing that. The cunning boy realized that if he did release the coffee, not only would he have a very unhappy and doused lover, that delicious tongue would stop... doing... that.

The golden boy was swallowing as fast as he could, but the soiled coffee overflowed the corners of his lips and dribbled down to pool in the hollows of his collarbones. But Christmas was the time of giving, and Harry was giving this present his all, messiness be damned. Flicking and delving his tongue into the tight passage, he sucked down the potently thickened fluid, licked the smooth inner walls of Draco and pumped feverishly at the luridly pink prick in his hand.

The hard-working brunet was glad that coffee was such a compelling taste that he wasn't made aware of what all else was coming down with it. The odd occasional chunk or seedy bit of something gushing over his tongue was on the cusp of making him gag, but instead he concentrated on what Draco must be feeling.

The sensations pouring through Draco were bordering on ecstasy. His swollen abdomen was starting to feel relief as the strain eased, and the remaining liquid was pressuring his pulsating prostate. Harry's hand thrumming his now furious erection was overwhelming him and he tried desperately not to rut into it lest he stop "holding it."

On top of that was the sucking and pulling and undulating tongue of none other than the bespectacled boy who lived behind him. The overwhelming physical sensations, coupled with the euphoria of the caffeine so enthusiastically flushing his system through his anal membranes tripped his nerves into super sensitivity threw Draco into a fervent orgasm.

Great globs of glistening white ooze spurted spectacularly against the dusty dark desk as Harry continued to lick and suck inside Draco. While normally at this point Draco would be drained and tired, due to the lasting effects of the caffeine he felt jittery and elated. He panted hard, fogging up the counter. The spent Slytherin attempted to come down as he watched the breath mark evaporate gradually before his abnormally widened eyes. "For the love of Merlin, Potter!"

Pulling his nose and misted glasses from Draco's backside, Harry grabbed a small towel he'd concealed in his robes and soaked up the excess coffee he'd failed to drink and then dabbed off Draco's quivering legs. "And that is your Christmas present."

Date: 2004-12-04 10:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emmagrant01.livejournal.com
Dear god. I feel like I need to go wash my brain now! I was curious, so I read it -- and I'm almost wishing I hadn't! (Not.)

I actually thought I was unsquickable where H/D was concerned! ;-)

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Date: 2004-12-04 11:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anise-anise.livejournal.com
OMG!!! OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!

*SQUICK*

You are wonderful!!! :D And I'm really really twisted apparently.

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Date: 2004-12-04 11:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lachicarubia.livejournal.com
o_O

Well that was one helluva fic. Squicky and twisted, yet I liked it.

Date: 2004-12-04 11:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] capra-maritimus.livejournal.com
Mmm. :D

How was this squicky, exactly?

*runs away from squicked H/D shippers*

LOL

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Date: 2004-12-05 12:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ms-mindfunk.livejournal.com
Well, I *was* going to have dinner now...

I don't know who is more responsible for ruining my loverly dinner plans: Emma for reccing this or arrogant_prat for writing it. Maybe you're both equally guilty and you owe me some plain old vanilla HD in compensation.

AP, I applaud your creativity and admire you for having the guts to go into a totally unique area, but I seriously do feel a little ill. :P

Date: 2004-12-05 01:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] the-plebe.livejournal.com
Got here via [livejournal.com profile] emmagrant01.

That really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, because you could just SEE where it was going. :DD I actually found it kind of funny. O.o Gross (if you think too hard about it), but funny. *g*

Date: 2004-12-05 02:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] marksykins.livejournal.com
I was FINE until the SEEDY BIT. OMG. AHAHAHA. I actually had my hand over my mouth for the rest of the fic then. Really well-written, but ewwwwww! :D

Date: 2004-12-05 03:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brightsun301.livejournal.com
oy... congratulations on being the first person to officially squick me.. *hides* I'm scared now.

Was cool though ^_^ Darn Emma for making me curious! :p

Date: 2004-12-05 03:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] phoenix-starr.livejournal.com
::swears off coffee::

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Date: 2004-12-05 04:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] azure-k-mello.livejournal.com
On a scale of one to horrific I think it's a ten that I wasn't the least bit squiffed. I thought it was hot. I'll go back to my corner now.

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Date: 2004-12-05 05:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] accio-draco.livejournal.com
Disturbingly brilliant. Is it wrong that I have a craving for coffee now?

Date: 2004-12-05 07:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] potchi-sdg07.livejournal.com
i've had 3 coffees since i read that fic and i haven't looked at my drink in a different way.. really. i was actually fighting the urge to squee because i'll wake everyone up.. *looks around and wonders why everyone else got squicked* lol.

Date: 2004-12-05 09:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mooncharm.livejournal.com
*dies a thousand deaths*

Perhaps it's because I am a pervert, but I consider fics labled as squicktastic and such a direct challenge. This was excellent. I was actually only squicked a tiny little bit, which is perhaps scary, but maybe that's because I don't drink coffee in the first place...hmmm.

Anyway, fantastic job!!! :D

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Date: 2004-12-05 08:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cenas-plots.livejournal.com
Oh dear lord. I was drinking my coffee while reading this. Bad idea? Eh, maybe.

It didn't squick me as much as it should have. I guess I'm just *that* perverted, but like others have said, the "seedy" bit did get to me. :\

You did a lovely job with this.

<333

Date: 2004-12-05 08:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jaded-serpent.livejournal.com
omg. ew. just.... ew. but stil draco.. desk.. top! harry. I dont know how to react at all. Consider me squicked. nice job!

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Date: 2004-12-05 11:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] devon-may.livejournal.com
I'm gonna kill Emma.

Can't. Get. Rid. Of. Images.

Damn, I feel ill.

But really, good job! It's not easy squicking me ...

Date: 2004-12-07 05:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alia-eternal.livejournal.com
my first squick fic. Was this a bit much to start with? Thank you Emma for that recommendation....

*Rocks back and force uncontrollably*

safe place, safe place, safe place, ......

Seriously, very uniquely well done. I really don’t think tasteful is the right word but only because i don’t think i will be able to use that word for awhile now. But if i was able to i would definitely apply it to your great story.

Date: 2004-12-17 06:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] furiosity.livejournal.com
That was the squickiest thing I have ever read, but I was laughing so hard at Draco's incredulity that I didn't notice I was squicked. <33333s! Brilliant. Don't ask how I got here, I don't remember. >.>

Date: 2005-01-09 03:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fllama.livejournal.com
You know, as soon as Harry bent down behind Draco I just knew what he was going to do. One: Because I was forewarned that this was a squick fic and Two: because that coffee was going to play a major role and it just clicked for me. But the detail in which you wrote it had me squicking left right and center. Well done! LOL

Oh yeah and I almost died when you wrote the seedy part partly of laughter and partly of squickyness lol.

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From: [identity profile] fllama.livejournal.com - Date: 2005-01-09 10:44 am (UTC) - Expand

Er...

Date: 2005-01-28 06:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mahoganyhandle.livejournal.com


I'm speechless.


Well, besides ::squick:: that is.






Image

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