WIP recs

[roneviacake.livejournal.com]

here are some WIP fics that I have been reading. Just thought I share them.

Title: Flirt
Author:xErised
Rating: T
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Wordcount:36,665
Summary: Draco finally decides to give Harry a set of rules and two months, nothing more and nothing less, to court him. But Harry had never expected it to be such a challenge... Post-Hogwarts. HP/DM
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5667456/1/Flirt

Title: An Angels Wrath
Author:RedOneTwoThree
Rating: M
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Wordcount: 16,914
Summary: When an 11 year old Draco shows up at godrics hallow with no memory of who or where he is the potter family must choose whether to help him or turn him in. slash! Full summary inside!
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5782031/1/An_Angels_Wrath

Comments

[a-cupcha.livejournal.com]

Wow, thankyou for the recs (^^)b.

[zoryatwist.livejournal.com]

"Flirt" is interesting,
it kinda jumps right in and you are left floundering
Draco and Harry never really behave in a way the reader can understand, there are stillstand and sudden lurches in the developement of the plot...
it seems like the story of a writer that once might become a genius but is now full of beginners mistakes
...
or the writer is a genius and it's all on purpose
i really don't know, but thank you for the rec, even though i am not fond of wips this one was worth it

haven't yet dared to try the second, i find myself reluctant to read this AU

[xerised.livejournal.com]

Were you the one that left me a review on ff.net? If you are, well, thanks for the heads-up on the journal link. (:

Well, um, about your feedback...
Issues with the plot -and- characterization. /wince

I have thought about both matters seriously before starting this fic, and I can safely say that you're the first person to voice out your dubiousness regarding these two things.

But really, thanks for the feedback. I'll have to pay special attention to that in the future chapters, and I'm glad that you enjoyed the read.

[zoryatwist.livejournal.com]

hey,
yeah that was me

my comment here was very general,
maybe a few examples might help?

1. the scent-thing, I mean it's possible to like how a person smells, but you may have gone a bit overboard with the whole thing, if you can follow a person's scent all over a room they used way to much cologne, people don't react as extremely as Harry does, seemingly basing a relationship attempt on it

2.the jealousy at the pool-thing, while i simply love your take on pureblood prudeness (it's extremely canon and original!) Harry's jumping to the conclusion that Draco was jealous is one of the lurches in the plotline, not realistic, just as Draco's sudden possesiveness is not realistic

3. the kissing the ex-thing, i loved the angst, but it was over way too quickly, without a real release for the tension you built up by having Harry kissing another man while wooing Draco, it's suddenly over and done with, no explanation, Draco is left standing in the cold, looking a bit like a wimp for simply giving in, and the whole incident stays in the readers mind, making Harry rather unlovable

[zoryatwist.livejournal.com]

anyway

as I said earlier

there are a lot of things that are simply wonderful about your story

you are very original and astute
i love your Harry / Hugo interaction
and your characterisation in general
your pureblood draco is amazing, and leecherous harry is a riot

but i'm a seasoned reader so the little mistakes are glaringly obvious to me,
sorry i hope you don't mind critic

it's not even all that usual for me to comment
but there seems to be so much potential in your writing that i couldn't stop myself to try and give some objective critique, hoping to maybe help you smooth out some of the edges

if you're angry i'll delete the comment, might have to do it anyway
but i wanted you to know how much i appreciate your writing

thanks again
jo

(is singapur in the same time zone as taiwan??)

[xerised.livejournal.com]

NOOO please don't delete the comment! It's great to have constructive criticism.

Okay, to tackle your issues:

1) Initially I didn't plan to include anything about any sort of scent at all, but after thinking it through for a few times, I thought that if Harry simply saw hot!Draco and started lusting after him, it would be a bit too weird, so I just added the whole scent idea. Additionally, there's this girl in my class who smells like flowers ALL DAY LONG, so I used that as inspiration. XD

2) Okay that bit was basically one paragraph long, so I can honestly say that it really didn't register in my radar as one of the major issues in the chapter. But I have a fondness for writing flustered!possessive!cute!Draco so I just decided to add it in there partially for self-fulfillment. /voice getting smaller with every word/ >.<

3) Ah, the angst. I already knew it was going to be a bit tricky with the resolution of the conflict, simply because different people would have different interpretations of how everything would be solved. And the end result was: some reviewers thought that the angst was balanced well, some said MOAR angst would be good, and others said that it was over the top.
On hindsight I don't regret writing the chapter like that, because that's how I always thought it would turn out right from the beginning.
Additionally, there was also the two month timeline, so I really couldn't leave both of them wallowing in their self-despair for too long.

But anyway, I really would like to thank you for your time spent telling me what your thoughts were, and although I can't change the plot now ('cause everything's been planned out), I promise I will pay a bit more attention to their characterization.

/deep!bow

P.S. Singapore is +8 GMT, if I'm not wrong. it's 10:29am, 8 March over here. (:

[zoryatwist.livejournal.com]

So we are in the same time zone, cool

it is wonderful to find an author so open to critique, belive me that is a rare thing, especially in someone as young as you, just shows that your potential is indeed far greater than most

anyway i would never presume that you changed your story,
i'm sorry to have phrased myself so poorly,
your plotline just takes a few hurried steps in certain moments that work badly with the pace of the developement

it happens, i've seen many writers who came back to their old stories years later, adding a few paragraphs, or a chapter even to make it all flow more smoothly

i didn't even expect you to do that, just wanted to show you where an experienced reader would find things out of rhythm

thanks for giving me a bit of hope, sometimes i despair of the HP fandom as so many young authors these days are simply horrid (as original writers and as receivers of critique)

have a nice day

[roneviacake.livejournal.com]

Just to give warning... the second fic is really hurried and jumbled, but I think if the author slows down it could have potential.

Just a warning.^^